Intelligent Lust Denied

I recently sent this email to the CEO of Psychology Today magazine. I encourage anyone who is as outraged by this persecution of free thought as I am to send an email as well. Here's the link to the contact page of the CEO: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/email_prof.php?profid=34087
Here's the general contact page if you want to contact someone else:
http://my.psychologytoday.com/about/contact 

Here's the letter I sent upon finding out that Stanley Seigel's excellent column, Intelligent Lust, was "retired" from the magazine. Siegel's column must have pissed off some of the thought police, because it was excellent and very popular.

And now, my letter to the CEO:


I was perplexed to not be able to find the excellent article "In Defense of Casual Sex" on the Psychology Today site. All I could find were negative response articles to it, which is lame. I finally found Siegel's own site and found out that his column was "retired" from your magazine.

It's sad to see that Psychology Today is so afraid of free discussions of certain topics which don't adhere to certain people's fragile belief systems that you have to "retire" one of the best columns you had. Almost makes me think some of the people at Psychology Today, I don't know, maybe need to see a therapist.

And maybe you should change the name of your magazine to "Psychology Yesterday." I won't bother reading any more of your articles.


Sincerely,

Robert

Farewell, Ray Bradbury, Martian Chronicler

Ray Bradbury died last Tuesaday at the age of 91.

http://www.npr.org/2012/06/06/154424247/fahrenheit-451-author-ray-bradbury-dies-at-91

He left behind an incredible legacy for the world. He was a great man and a great American, with an incredible intellect and a compassionate poet's heart.

His books made me a better person and a better writer. I've longed to capture the beauty and nostalgia that he was able to evoke, most brilliantly in the Martian Chronicles. The Martian Chronicles, Something Wicked This Way Comes and Fahrenheit 451 are my favorite Bradbury books, and, in my opinion, three of the greatest books ever written.

Every writer who's truly a writer longs to write something that really matters, something that moves people's hearts, changes their lives. But probably the only way to do that is not to try but to do what Ray did.

"Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for."

Well, I'd better get on with it. Ray would want me to be writing now, not spend time talking about him.

We will miss you, Ray. Thanks for all the great stories.

Creative Success and Financial Success: Very Fickle Friends

For a writer, creative success and financial success are very fickle friends.

Many well-known writers didn't make enough of a living while they were alive, including one of my heroes (gulp, bad sign), Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan. Now, he would be a millionaire. He died very poor at the end of the 1930's. Then there's Edgar Rice Burroughs at the other end of the spectrum, who was incredibly rich. Some talented writers, especially ones that are "ahead of their time," never make a decent living or are recognized for their gift. Most never become very wealthy. This is a bitter truth of life (or our culture). You have to decide what's more important: being creatively successful and actually contributing something valuable to the body of literary work, or, being financially successful with it. They often don't go together. Some who are vastly talented are not rewarded financially, and many who are rewarded financially are not vastly talented.

Being a fan of authors like Leiber and Howard (also Bradbury, who has been lucky enough to be recognized for his work, and Philip K. Dick, who was partially recognized, but again, would be a millionaire now), I've come to accept that even if I write at their level, and I hope I will be there in the next couple of years (I believe I have the talent), I may never see the proper financial reward. I'm here for a purpose and it's not to make money or be famous. Those things might be nice. Maybe they wouldn't. A decent living is my only desire in that area. Beyond a certain income point (about $40-$50K/year according to studies), happiness does not increase.

My joy and meaning in life come from the work, getting up each day and being able to write. My joy comes from following in the footsteps of great writers that made my life and the lives of millions of others, deeper, richer and more joyful. When I'm on my deathbed, that will give me peace. All the money in the world, without that, will not.

Happiness Is Not Always the Appropriate Response to Life

I have a friend who's going through a rough time. Her friends are making her feel even worse by saying that she's "choosing" to feel unhappy. They're pushing the idea that "a person chooses to be happy or unhappy" down her throat. I guess that's what friends are for.

Okay. In a sense we are responsible for our own happiness. That idea empowers us and prevents us from blaming other people for our feelings. But that doesn't mean we're always in control of how we feel. Nobody is, not even the greatest Zen masters. We're human beings driven by unconscious impulses, despite how rational we like to believe that we are. (As evidence, in biological scientific terms, the human body transmits 11 million bits of information per second (bps) to the brain, but our conscious mind can only process up to 50 bps (Information Theory, Britannica Online)).

But there's another important issue here. Happiness is not always the appropriate response to your life's situation (any more than it is always the appropriate response to the situations of others). Sometimes, unhappiness is a very appropriate response to what's happening in your life. Being unhappy can motivate you to make changes that can lead to growth as an individual and create more meaning in your own life and contribute more meaning to the world. Happiness can do that too. Anger can do that. Sadness can do that. Emotions are not bad or good, they are responses to internal and external stimuli. What we do with the emotions is what is important.

Americans are obsessed with being happy. If you're not happy, people act like you're a loser or you have a mental illness. Happiness has become a competition. There's so much pressure to be happy that it makes people miserable. That expectation to be happy all the time is a lot of pressure. A better goal might be to be accepting of the way you feel and to have the confidence to know that you can move beyond those feelings or channel them in a creative or constructive way. Another better goal might be equanimity. Equanimity is a state of mental or emotional stability or composure arising from a deep awareness and acceptance of the present moment.

If you let go of the need to be happy all the time, and don't let others peer pressure you into feeling that way, you might find that happiness comes a bit easier when it comes and you won't be so worried that you'll "lose it." And when you're unhappy, you can accept that state without being miserable about the fact that you're unhappy, and hopefully find ways to work out of that state, or, be accepting and at peace as you wait for it to pass. Because it will pass. As will all your other emotions. They come and go, and they're all a part of being human.

And even if you are unhappy most of the time (as some great people in history were), you can still lead a meaningful life and be a loving person. And I think that's more important than being happy.

The Delight of Seeing Saturn

I got to view Saturn through a telescope last night at Griffith Observatory. It looked like it had been cut out precisely from black paper and backlit from behind. I was astonished at the clarity of the planet and the rings. It was surreal and wonderful and it gave me an existential delight which is almost impossible to communicate with words. It made me feel like something wonderfully playful, mysterious and romantic is going on that transcends all of the suffering that we create for ourselves here on this planet. And someday, we'll all transcend that suffering and join in that mystery and delight.

Men Are More Irrational Than Women

Judging by the insanity of the world we live in, run predominantly by men, and even by my own contact with other men in my life, it seems to me that men are more irrational than women.

The idea or appearance that men are more rational comes from the fact that men think in black and white terms. But the reasons for their behavior come from irrational unconscious impulses. They justify these actions with black and white logic and reasoning after the fact that mistakenly makes them appear very rational. But it is only an appearance.

Women, who see things more in a gray area, seem irrational to men simply because they don't think or act like men. But they have a more developed sense of compassion, empathy and connection to their surroundings than men. Women act with this instinct, but are not interested in justifying their actions in the way a man would.

This is why I believe it would be much better if the world had far more women in leadership positions, where they would make good choices for society as a whole and then men would be very good at implementing those choices in a reasoned practical way. At present, we live in a hyper-masculine society that pretends to be rational and in control. Take a look at the world. It is obviously a reflection of an irrational mind hell-bent on forcing its irrational will on its surroundings in a systematic, practical fashion. The result, thus far, is very nearly, hell on Earth.

Time to let the women lead for awhile.

Jack & Dora Story Cat and Canary Rises to #93 in the Top Free 100 in Humor for Amazon Kindle!

My Jack & Dora story Cat and Canary has risen into the top Free 100 in Humor for Amazon Kindle! Free for another 2 days http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006WEDULO